Sometimes

I yell a lot. I lose my temper a lot too. Often for no real reason at all. I just snap at the littlest things. RR is the one that gets yelled at. Thank you postpartum depression.

Most days I feel like I'm failing her. Some days are really bad, others are wonderful. Today was an alright day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Everytime I lose my cool and snap at her I feel like shit. This is not the mom I want to be. Not the mom I know I can be. Some days I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle; like no matter what I won't be the mom she deserves. But I know that is the PPD talking. But sometimes knowing isn't enough.

Then there are the moments RR says or does something that gives me hope. That show me she is growing into a wonderful human being. When she grabs a snack for herself, me, and the hubby. When she says "thank you" to me, or the waiter at the resturant. When she takes something from her sister that she isn't supposed to have while my back is turned. The list goes on. It showes me that even though I feel like I'm failing more days than not, I'm doing something right. That at the very least, she is growing into a wonderful, kind person in spite of me.

And sometimes I think that is all we can hope for as parents. That our children grow into wonderful people in spite of our short comings. But I'll always strive to make tomorrow better than today.

~Cathrin

Catch up.

I haven't written anything in a long time. I checked and it was at the end of May. Now it's October already. I do have quite a few half written posts in my drafts though so I have been trying to get a post written, and get this blog going with regular posts again. So I'll try to get you caught up on the goings on around here.

WL is eight months old now, she is crawling all over the place, pulling up on things and can walk when holding on to things. At her six month appointment she was just under twenty pounds and twenty-six inches.

RR is thirty pounds now, and thirty-six inches tall. She is talking really well now and says thankyou. She loves her little sister so much and is  sweet with her; most of the time. And shes potty trained! She is going through the terrible twos though. Needless to say that isn't very fun.

Hubby is working full time now and we're really happy with it. We bought a new car with the extra money after one of ours broke down and we decided it would cost more than the car was worth to fix it. I love that he's home at 1:30 so we have the rest of the day as s family.

I spend most of my time with the kids. Which is kind of a given for a stay at home mom. Occasionally I'll go out and get some time to myself, but mostly I'm home with the kids and hubby. I have started donating my extra breastmilk, WL only needs about half of what I make. So since I'm pumping to feed WL I starting giving it to a milk bank. My extra milk goes to preemies and very ill infants, I can't really think of anything better to do with it.

I think thats about it.
~Cathrin