I Love My Life

In early November I came to the realization that I love me life. It may sound like a stupid thing to realize but to me it was honestly a surprise.

You see my marriage has been in a bad state for a little while. If I were to use a house as a way to describe it I would have to say that the foundation was cracked. Which is something I haven't admitted to most of my friends. Foundations are hard to repair, they take a lot of time and energy. And while we've started to repair it, it's going to take more time, maybe a lot more time.

I came to this realization while I was driving to the store after spending the early afternoon at the park with my baby girl. My husband was at work, I was out having fun with my daughter. And even though my marriage was in shambles around me, even though we're living with my parents; And I love my life. Are there things that I would change about it if I could? Absolutly. But I love it just they way it is too. And that is something I needed.

I also realized that I truly love my husband, and that even though he's pretty crappy at showing it sometimes; he loves me too. And I love being married to him, I couldn't imagine my life with out him. He works and lets me stay home with our daughter, and it doesn't piss him off that I'm not working. And I value that, I value that more than he realizes. I value that he wants me to stay home with RR and that he is behind me with the idea of homeschooling in a few years. I value everything he does for me, and I realize that I need to try harder to show him that.

I love my life, I love being a wife, more specifically I love being a wife to my husband. I love being a mom, a full time mom to my little girl. And I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

~Cathrin