This morning I woke and rolled gently onto my back, I was still half asleep but It seems to have become my ritual since I can still get up from that position with out an issue. I like to lay on my back for a few minutes from time to time so that I can rest my sides a little bit. But as I was laying there I was running my hand over my bubble, (that is what I call my uterus) and I realized that one side was higher then the other. I knew that it was because I had been the side I was laying on and the baby was still over there, probably sleeping. I of course actually looked at my tummy and there I could see the baby on the one side. I naturally thought this was the coolest thing ever, it's the first time it's happened this pregnancy so I was excited. Naturally I reached over to my hubby and pocked him awake. He woke up and I told him to look and he does. He goes "Cool." however, the tone of his voice said something the lines of "you seriously just woke me up for that? I want to go back to sleep." I sigh and say "You just want to go back to sleep don't you." His response was as I expected "yeah pretty much." or something to that affect, he rolled back over. I said "well I thought it was super cool." and he was out. He's good at that, just falling asleep because he sets his mind to it. I wish I was like that. But at least he's easy for me to wake up.
Of course if I hadn't woken him up and had just told him about it later he would be pretty mad with me. He doesn't want to miss anything, he missed everything with my previous pregnancies so it's pretty important to us. I do pretty much narrate every time I feel a kick, I think this is starting to annoy him. Mostly because he can't feel then yet. We do both know that the dog will probably be the first thing that knows you can feel kicks on the out side. He'll probably get kicked in the face. It will be pretty funny.
Also the night before last, (Wednesday night) I had the most horrific dream. I had a dream that we had just brought a baby girl home from the hospital and when I woke up that morning she was dead. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail because the dream still terrifies me. This however isn't the first time that I dreamed about losing this baby. I had a dream a month or so ago about going into early labor at home and having the baby on the toilet and then my hubby rushing us too the hospital. That dream ended before I woke up while still on the way to the hospital. This dream was just so different, I guess because of the fact that I had held her and fed her and she was real to my dream self, the other dream had seemed more like a dream. I had woken with a start right as it hit my dream self that she was gone. I was terrified and I woke up my hubby and he held me tight. I didn't go back to sleep tell after he had gone to go Christmas shopping with his mom. I had told him that I was never sleeping again he said "We'll see how that works out for you." I was of course asleep by the time that my hubby had come back home, I didn't how ever sleep tell the sun came up and was lighting up my room. It some how made me feel safer. I'm really starting to wish that pregnancy didn't make me dream, I used to never dream.
Other then that today is the end of the world. I will probably post a one sentence blog tomorrow that says "I'm still alive." I know that there is like a specific time and all but we'll just go with the whole day, maybe the gods of world destruction will be late. :) (<~ that was sarcasm)
I would also like to note that since some people on babycenter seem to think that because I don't write about looking for jobs and such that we don't do it. That's not true. This is a blog, not my diary, there is a lot of things that I don't put up here. I don't want my entire life up on here for people to judge, just the parts I feel like sharing. And I honestly thought that "still looking for a job" would be inferred by my lack of update other wise.
Any way, I need to eat and do more cleaning (jeez that is never ending!).
~Cathrin
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