Diapers

My new newborn diapers have arrived. :) I still need to wash them and stuff but they're pretty cute. Well as cute as just diapers with out the super cute covers can be. I don't plan on washing them for a while, I'm going to wait tell I have more then four so that I have a realistic load size. The brand that I got is Cloth-eez, they are the workhorse fitteds. They were 5.50 each because the newborn size is cheaper then the other sizes. They are organic which is a plus, not that this really matters to me at all... I probably wont be getting any more of this brand, the reason for that is because I don't want to get anymore "newborn" diapers and want to get the next size up to use for the newborn stage, they will get more use that way. I'm going to get the same style in a different brand because the other brand is cheaper. I'll be able to fold them down and put them as tight as I need to fit on RR once she's born so I'm not worried about them being too big. If I was getting a style with snaps then I would have an issue with doing that.

Here are some pictures.

The color of the stitching around the edges stands for the size, Newborn is Orange. They have the floppy thing to make them more absorbent, the other brand is basically exactly like this just not organic so I think makes the main difference in price. 

I got the closure-less diapers because I wanted the extra adjustability of not having to snap snaps to get the diaper to stay. I think it will make the smalls fit when they are a little big and the newborns fit when they are a little small. I'm going to use a snappy (or is it spelled snappie?) to close the diapers and not diaper pins, I can't put those things on myself with out getting stuck, I'd hate to have that happen to my baby. I still have to get a snappy though, but I'll worry about at a later date.

Here are my other diapers (and inserts), I took this a while ago after I pulled then out of the washer. They were dirty from the trip from back home to here so I just wanted to get the dirt off.

The Pocket diapers, they don't need a cover so I got cute ones.

The inserts

I still have a lot to get to get my stash together but at least it's started now. 

~Cathrin

Diapers and Gas.

I wrote this part yesterday, and then stopped writing for an unknown reason:

I magically got like ten views in one day yesterday. I can honestly say that I am surprised when I see anything more than like four, in an entire day. There a bazillion blogs out there and you choose to read mine. Yay! Okay in all reality I realize that you are all sitting there silently judging me and making decisions on who I am and what I'm really like by the tiny smidgen of my life that I put up here. ~shrug~ I don't really think that I care all that much. I would of course rather people, you know, not judge me but I realize that that is an impossible feat. It seems to be the way people are raised now days, I don't see why people hate it when they are judged, but I digress.

Yesterday I ordered some diapers, just four, but it makes me feel accomplished I guess. I am slowly going to get everything that I need to have this little girl. They should be getting here in the next few days and I'll post pictures, not that they are pretty or anything, since they are the kind that needs a cover and I refuse to pay extra for a colored diaper that I'm going to put something over... I don't see why anyone does that actually. It just seems like a waste to me, but then some people actually have the money for that. I still doubt I would pay for it even if I had the extra money, I would rather save it and make a trip to Disney world or something like that.

^Again that was yesterday, I'll try to pick up where I left off.

Anyway, So the diapers should be here soon, and I'll get to take pictures and put them up here. I do have some other diapers already, I have 10 pocket diapers. I got them after we first started trying to get pregnant, they were a really good deal and I figured I would like pockets. We'll see how they go when She fits into them as she wont fit those at birth. All the other diapers on my list are fitteds, I would totally do prefolds if I had any desire to fold a diaper, I don't so we're going to go with fitteds. They are supposed to dry faster and they are cheaper then both pockets and All in ones. Prefolds are supposed to be the cheapest and fastest drying but again I'm not going to fold a diaper.

On a completely different note we went to walmart yesterday and got food, lots of food. This of course resulted in my standing and walking for about two or so hours. My hips do not like that. It also didn't help that was literally 16 degrees when we were putting all that stuff in the car. My hips hurt more in the cold. When we got home I carried in a few bags and then stayed inside putting things in the fridge and freezer and putting cans and such where they go. I was not going to go out in the cold again. I hate cold. The high yesterday was literally 18. the low was something like 11 or 10. Right now it's 15, they say the high will be 19, we'll see if it makes it there.

So after we went shopping Hubby's grand mother pokes her head in the door. "On Friday can you take me to Barb's?" I'm sitting here and just feel like sighing. I remember exactly when the last time she was down there was, the last Friday in December, we left here there tell my appointment that Wednesday since we'd already be at least somewhat down in that direction. So here she is once again and she's asking to go down when I have my appointment Wednesday  I know damn well she wont have any more money after her trip down there then she does now because the social security check comes in on the first. She promises to give us gas money when we pick her back up, which she wants to be Saturday or Sunday, (notice how that is before the first on the month) so I don't get why I can't get the gas money to get her before we go down there. And besides, her version of "gas money" and the amount of money it takes to put a gas in the car are not the same thing.

She did say something about wanting to stop at Babies R Us and put stuff on lay away. She is sitting here going "Your not going to fit a crib in this room." I'm sitting here looking at her thinking 'Oh really? I didn't know that! Thanks for telling me!' (can you feel the sarcasm?) The truth is I'm pretty sure I CAN fit a crib in here, I'll have to rearrange the entire room, and I probably wont be able to sit in front of my computer, but I think I know how to make it work. If push comes to shove, and I can't get a normal sized crib in here, then I'll take it back and get a mini crib and call it a day. So after her earth shattering revelation that this room is small, she starts talking about getting a walker and a swing. Yeah because if there isn't space for a crib we're defiantly going to have space for those things; not. She also talked about getting a car seat, I have no issue with that so long as it's the one on my registry which is online only, I will take a different one back and get the one I want. She goes "you have to have a car seat you can't take her home with out one." Hubby goes "We know that." I'm sitting there really annoyed at that because guess what? I spent a month researching car seats and deciding which one I felt was safest, not the easiest to use, or the lightest, or the cutest, the safest. Which actually had me looking at what was sold in Sweden a lot since they have way better car seats, and I got the one that closest matched their safety standards.

The whole conversation really annoyed the crap out of me. And here I am trying to figure out if I want to drive her down there, drop her off and then pick her back up. Honestly I could use the brake from her, she is so annoying (to everyone not just me). The dogs are even better behaved when she's not here. The trip to babies r us has me really wanting to take her since the closer one is a mix thing and has a crappy selection. The issue is the amount of gas that it takes to get down there, and the fact that I have to go through the city which I hate and KILLS my gas mileage. Hubby and I will have to talk about it honestly. I'm not sure what is the better option as I have to actually have gas to get to my appointment on Wednesday, and we need to start paying off a couple more bills with the little money we do have.

~Cathrin

Baby Shower?

I feel like writing a post so I shall, no that there is really anything for me to say but why not just talk.

So earlier this week I was talking to my mom, and she asked if I was ready to go down for a visit. Well of course I'm ready to go down there for a visit, I'm starting to get so very depressed here. I feel like I basically have no support up here. She also asked if I wanted to do a baby shower down there. Naturally I would love that, everyone I know and care about (other then Hubby) is down there. The first time I had ever moved was when I moved up here, so I've known these people my entire life. I of course want to be around them, 90% of my family is there too.

The issue with going down there? The cost. I do not have enough money for gas to get there and back, and I don't want my mother to drive up here to get me, and then have to make the trip again to bring me back. I also don't want to have to ask my parents for the gas money to drive down myself.

My mother and I talked yesterday about when to do a shower down there, and the best month for me to head that way would be February. April I'll for sure be in the two week appointments, and in March I have child care classes and birthing classes. In February there's nothing other then normal four week appointments  (well and that GD test) so I could stay down there the longest. Thing is I probably wont be able to take my car down there at that time, my hubby will more then likely need the car. And it's a really long trip to take by myself. I don't even like driving to wal-mart by myself let alone 8+ hours.

So basically the issue with going down there is the feasibility of the whole thing. Hubby will hopefully (fingers crossed) have some kind of job by then so we might be able to come up with the gas money. But if he has a job then he'll need to have the car so that he can you know, get there. This means I wont have a car down there or home, and taking a bus would literally make the trip forever long, and I don't think a plan is even in the question, those are a lot of money. I've never been on one either so I'd rather the first time I not be by myself, and pregnant.

My Husband did express to me that he would rather me have a long distance baby shower over skype. He wants to be able to be there and participate in the shower, and he can't if I go down there. I want him to be able to be at the shower too but at the same time I really need a break from this place and to be around people who will be a little more supportive and just happier to see me.

SO basically we don't know what the plan is on a baby shower, we'll have to figure something out soon though. We want to have the shower some time soon ish so that we know what we still need and have the time to get the money to get what ever it is and put together.

On a brighter note, my mother-in-law went with us to walmart yesterday and bought me the dress set I wanted.

I've also for the most part decided what RR will be coming home in, unless I fall inlove with something else before then.

The cute bunny out fit.

And I just have to this sleeper because by golly it's so stinken cute.

~Cathrin

Gender Reveal

Here is our gender reveal. 

I blocked out her name since I don't feel comfortable posting it here.

We plan on using the frame forever basically, and just updating the picture as she grows.

Anatomy Scan.

Okay I am going to write this post today right now. The third time is the charm right? This will probably be a little long so if you want you can scroll down to see pictures and big pretty writing, though I do hope you read the whole thing. :)

Monday I woke up at about 6:40 probably a little before that; but that was when I looked at my phone. After an hour of laying there trying to go back to sleep I just gave up and got on my computer. We had set an alarm to go off at 8:30 so that we had plenty of time to get ready and get to the appointment. Naturally we left the house later then I wanted too. My hubby hadn't gotten out of bed before nine, which of course led to use leaving at 10:15ish rather then 10:00. And we had to stop and get gas, so we didn't get to the Perinatal center tell a couple minutes passed 11:00. It was okay though as there were still people waiting to go that were in front of me.

The ultrasound was okay. The tech pointed out the placenta to me and judging from where my kids butt was when she told me this it's on my right side, though I could be wrong. Maybe it's at the top... I don't know for sure. Anyway, the first thing she looked at was the kids heart. We watched it for what felt like forever, I started to worry, the next thing we looked at was the brain, that took a while too but at least with that she was taking measurements and such. Also the baby hates the ultrasound wand, I mean hates this thing. She kept just trying to kick and punch at it. There was actually a point where the tech was looking at the blood flow in the intestines I guess, and Baby was kicking at the wand, you could see it each time I could feel it, the whole screen would go blue and red, it was so funny.

On the way to the ultrasound I felt the kiddo get really low, and I mean LOW like I felt the kid put something kind of heavy in my pelvis. It was just SO uncomfortable and I couldn't believe that the kid would pick that day of all days to do that. Turns out kid's butt is what got put into my pelvis and the tech had a fun time prodding kid out of that position so she could look down there to tell us gender and look at what ever it was she needed to look at down there.

The one thing that kid was super uncooperative about was getting a look at the spine. That took over thirty minutes to do. I cannot believe how hard the tech was pushing on my tummy going all up and down my left side, I assume she was trying to get kid to move, since she couldn't get a good look, but I was sitting there wincing and complaining about it. Not that it mattered because she just pushed harder, Thanks tech way to make this completely miserable. Finally she decided to have the doctor come in and look at everything else and then try again to get the spine.

The doctor came in and sat me up, and looked through all the pictures. After she did that she put the wand back on me to see if she could see the kids spine. Yep she could; sitting me up was all that kiddo needed to move. The tech came back in and they got the pictures they needed. The doctor pushed on my tummy a lot less then the tech did, this tech actually pushed a lot harder then the tech from the NT scan.

Anyway I was handed three pictures. Our gender shot, and two of the baby's profile. I cannot tell you just how much this upsets me I have seen people leave that same fricken place with over 20 pictures and I get three, and two are the same? The thing that got me was that there was plenty of super cute pictures of fingers and toes and such that the doctor got to see, and why don't I get them? I didn't even get to see the kids face, I saw the nose and upper lip when she checked for cleft, and I saw the eye sockets when she looked at those, but I didn't get to see the whole face, I wanted to see how it changed. Now it wouldn't bug me if I had the kind of money to go off and get an elective scan, but I don't and I expected to get a lot of pictures with out having to ask for them. Also my entire left side of my belly is STILL sore, the scan was two days ago, yesterday my shirt was hurting it, and today it isn't much better. It feels like it's going to bruise. I take a long time to bruise though, I normally get a bruise a week later when I don't have a clue how I got it. Honestly I feel like I should call and complain about the tech. There is just no reason for my side to hurt this bad.

Honestly the reason the only three pictures upsets me so much is because I'm so scared that I wont get to take this little one home. And if this little one is still born then I want as many pictures as possible of this kid alive. And I just feel like I got screwed in that area. Now don't think I'm not super happy that nothing was found wrong on the ultrasound I really truly am, I'm just unhappy with the pain that I have and the amount of pictures I got.

Any way! Here is my super not cool blog gender reveal.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

There is defiantly nothing dangling there.

I'm really neither happy nor sad that the baby is a girl. The first thing I said was "Now I don't have to see your mother's crushed face." I was talking to my husband. The first thing my Mother-in-law had said to me after we told her was "I hope it's a girl." This had me partially hoping for a little girl just so I didn't have to see the look on her face if I had to say "boy". I couldn't have cared less what genitals this baby has. I just want to take the baby home. I do think that after this baby is born and I hold her in my arms I will just burst in to tears, they will probably be a mixture of happiness and sadness. Happiness that I have a beautiful daughter here with me and that I get to take her home, and sadness that I never held her older sister, and that her sister never got to come home.

On a happier note: here are the other two pictures I got.

I'm going to do a cute gender reveal thing for the family later today, I'll post a picture of it later.

~Cathrin

Wednesday's Prenatal appointment.

I have officially gained some weight in the past four weeks. Four pounds. But since I originally lost weight I've gained like one pound. But my doctor is happy with it. Granted she has me starting my pregnancy at three pounds lighter because the last time they had weighed me was back in June. The specialist weighed me in September and had me at having gain three pounds since June, granted it could have just been the scale, or maybe even the clothes I was wearing at the time, most likely I was wearing my flip flops in June and then maybe my brown sandals in September. Honestly I just don't remember. But I'm just glad to be gaining weight. I really didn't want to get a lecture about needing to eat more. These past few weeks I've been pretty hungry so that is helpful.

We talked with the doctor about my birth plan, and I told her that I want to have a natural delivery and that I don't want a nurse asking me if I want pain meds. I will ask for meds if I want them, I'm not freakishly against having a medicated birth I would just rather have an unmediated one. I really wanted a water birth, even though it does kind of scare me because of Serenity, but the hospital I'm going to deliver at doesn't do water births. Honestly I'll feel more comfortable with giving that a try after this baby gets here safe and sound. Then I'll find a hospital that does water births (that is hopefully closer them mercy) and switch to him/her. The real thing was that I didn't want to switch from a doctor that I like for a chance at a water birth that I might not be able to do anyway.

We also talked about how many people can be in the room with me. While I'm in labor they allow up to four people, the actual pushing two. This is more then fine with me, the only one I wanted while pushing was my hubby anyway. As for labor, that will just depend on how I feel, I think I'm going to want to be pretty much naked so probably just my hubby then too. I'd probably only really want my mom to be there other then my hubby anyway.

The other thing my doctor asked is if we have a boy if we wanted to circumcise. The answer to that is no. We wont be circumcising a boy. I did research and found it's not medically necessary and at that point I was pretty much set on not getting done. I don't feel comfortable doing a permanent non-necessary procedure on someone else's body, let alone a new born. He can always choose to get it done later if he wants, and then he'll be informed and consenting. My husband agrees so that's our plan.

On another note, our anatomy scan is tomorrow morning at 11. I'm rather excited. I'm also completely terrified. I'm glad that I can feel this little one kicking away, it gives me some comfort that at least I won't be told "there's no heartbeat." I've heard those words before, I never want to hear them again. I'm just scared that the baby will have something that he/she can survive in the womb with but not outside of the womb. I'm just trying to focus on the things that I know are going to happen. I'm going to get see this baby again, for probably the last time before this baby is born, and so long as the baby is positioned right we'll find out for sure what sex the baby is. The possibility that something could be wrong... that is something I just keep pushing out of my mind.

Oh and since we have the anatomy scan tomorrow I'll tell you what we were told at the NT scan. 70% chance of a girl. I still think boy though, and I've read that mothers intuition is 70% accurate so we'll see who's 70% is right.

~Cathrin